SM64 Super Bloopers: A Trip To The Basement

SM64 Super Bloopers: A Trip To The Basement is the 3rd episode in the SM64 Super Bloopers series.

Plot synopsis
Mario decides to head to the castle basement after he hasn't been there in a while. Plenty of absurd hijinks ensure.

Characters

 * Mario
 * Mario Head
 * Goombas
 * Big Boo
 * Toad

Trivia

 * This video was the one that started the whole "rapist" gag that would continue fourth through the series.

Transcript
(The video opens up with Mario 64 being started up. Soon, the Mario Head pops up.)

Mario Head: I'M BACK!!! Huh hah, look at my big floating head! UUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ("Donk" s said as soon as a Star falls on him) Ow! OOOOOOOOOH. Oooooh, look at me, I look like a stoned hippie. HUUUUH, oh look, a tons of Stars, you- (he gets cut off before he could finish, and the Profile menu is brought up. However, IronYoshi has some technical difficulties with the controller.)

IronYoshi: (a "thud" can be heard) Uh... serious malfunction here, folks. The controllers messed... up. 'S gonna take a while. (eventually, through the magic of a scene change, it appears he got the controller working again) There we go, it's fixed up now. (Mario A is selected, followed by the traditional "Okway Dokway!")

Mario: I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Say what the heck was taking so long?

Cameraman: Uh, controller had a malfunction.

Mario: Oh. So Let's-a-Go! I feel I'll go down to the basement. The only reason I came down there is to check out the volcano level. Lethal Lava Land. (Mario soon slides down a hill) WHEEEE! (he lands in the water) Yay, cheers 'cause I just dived. (Mario soon does a somersault) Ah! (he finally makes it up to the ledge, then proceeds to head for the basement door) Lah-hoh. (Mario soon enters the castle basement) Well at least it's not that bright down here. (Mario soon does a long-jump, but he hits his head on the ceiling) OW! My head!

Cameraman: Well it's a good thing you have a... head of steel, right?

Mario: Eh, guess you could say that (Mario soon does a backflip to get to the top) Rrah. Yay! (He then exits the room, and finally enters main area of the basement, as well as singing part of the castle theme) No painting here? Ah well, this is a perfect place to do my Kung-Fu moves! It's perfect to do my Kung-Fu moves. (Mario tries too jump-kick the wall, only to go into it) WHAY YAH-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! The wall's alive!

(The Star Menu is brought up, with IronYoshi complaining that "Stand Tall on the Four Pillars" is a hard one to beat. It is selected, and Mario arrives in Shifting Sand Land.)

Mario: AW. A desert?! Ah. Crap. Are these the Giza Pyramids of Egypt? 'Cause that's where the Sun Harvester is. Really. I do not want to be killed- I do not want to be di- eaten by a giant killer robot. (Mario makes his way to the area where the giant moving metal boxes are, and the most legendary of running jokes is born) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH RAPIST!!! 'S a Pokey (Mario dives to the Pokey, removing it's head) He he hehch, now that's what I call "Head Shot". Huh? What the heck is that (Mario is soon sent flying in a tornado) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHGH!!! Wheeeee... (he is sent flying towards the pyramid, but then changes direction) Uh no, oh no. (He then lands) Hh, too much sand here. I'm thirsty. Oh crap (Mario is sent flying in another tornado) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEEEYYEEIIIIIE!!! (Mario soon lands on the pyramid) What the? (The camera starts to move) Ah crap! Devastator's coming! EEEEEEK!!! (Mario soon goes inside the pyramid) Whooa! This is the Sun Harvester? Really, it just looks like a big maze.

Cameraman: That's because it isn't the Sun Harvester, Mario. Um, this is Nintendo, not Hasbro... not Transformers stuff.

Mario: Oh yeah, that's right. But what I'm doing, anyways? (Mario soon falls into the sandpit) Nothing over here, except that I'm slowing down! UHHHHHGH! (Mario continues sinking) Oh well. Best keep swimming. Haaah! Now I'm just nothing but a floating Mario head! Help, I'm sinking! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! I found some treasure!

(Mario is soon ejected from the level)

Mario: OW! Wowo Wiwa! That place is too creepy. (Mario heads towards the rabbit, who flees) I'll come back here some time around. (he exits the main area of the basement, and he starts singing the castle theme again. He then exits the basement altogether, but stops as he sees Big Boo) Wa- OH MY GOSH A GHOST!!!

Big Boo: Hey, you don't know who I am, right?

Mario: Of course I do. Your a ghost.

Big Boo: I'm Big Boo.

Mario: Heh. I bet I can beat you right there. (Mario starts heading towards Big Boo, who quickly moves away) Oh yeah! OH YEAH! I won! Aw man! Naie- (Mario soon enters the castle gardens) lost. What the heck's that crazy laugh? (Mario looks around to see Boos everywhere) MAMA MIA! Look at all those ghosts! How'd they get here?

Cameraman: Huh. You said "ghosts" funny.

Mario: Huh, a floating birdcage.

(Mario jumps down and Big Boo suddenly appears.)

Big Boo: Surprise!

Mario: HUAGH! (Does a ground-pound, defeating Big Boo) DON'T RAPE ME! (the birdcage soon appears, and Mario jumps in it) Whoa! HAWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEE!

(The Star menu appears, with more sporadic dialogue this time, and Mario arrives at Big Boo's Haunt.)

Mario: (landing) OOF! Ah crap! This place is scaring me! Well it's a good thing there's a big house right there. Probably where Luigi's Mansion came from (Mario enters the house) There's probably a great room around here. (He then goes in the room with the infamous Piano) Oh what do you know it's a piano! Ey. 'Ello there, Piano, I'm gonna play my solo on you. (As Mario gets closer, the Piano begins to attack)

Piano: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Mario: (in a hilariously high pitch) AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! It's a creepy, possessed piano! (Mario soon enters the library) Huff, ho, at least it's safer here.

(Soon, one of the books from the shelf comes out and begins to go after Mario)

Book: RRRRAAAAHHH!!! I am your overdue library book! I'm going to eat you!

Mario: Haaaah!

(Suddenly, one of the chairs levitates and prepares to strike.)

Chair: This is for farting on me!

Mario: Ahhhh! This place is trying to- it's racist at me! (Mario quickly leaves the library) Gotta find a place that's not haunted. (He tries going up the stairs, but fails and heads for the room on the right corner) This one seems nice. (He soon come into contact with the giant eyeball)

Giant Eye: I see you!

Mario: (panicked) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! (Mario runs around some more until he finally exits the room) Crap... creepy! (Mario then heads for the stairs) This is the place where I watched the Scary Car Commercial. (Mario soon heads into one of the rooms)

Cameraman: Aw, you've seen that, Mario?

Mario: Hah, Eye (he quickly exits the room) Yeah. Gave me the creeps for almost a year now. (Mario soon enters another room. Another book pops out of the shelf)

Book: RAAAAAAH! We are your overdue library books!

Mario: (walks on a trap door) Huh? Oh no, oh no! (falls down) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! (he soon lands in the water, then gasps) Uh. It's a good thing I passed treading! What the crap is that- is that corny music? (Mario soon jumps out of the water and enters the "merry-go-round") A merry-go-round! Hooray yay!

Mysterious Voice: IMMA FIRN MAH LAZAR! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (Mario is soon hit with fire)

Mario: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!! Wait where the crap's the "You Spin Me Right Round" music? (The game is soon paused for a brief moment) Ah screw this. Better net die. Ah what the heck. (The game is paused again as Mario gets burned in the butt once more) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH my butt's burning. (The game is paused a 4th time and Mario just exits the level and returns to the castle) Crap, I'm really low on health. (Mario grabs some coins) Perfect. (he then gets the other 2 coins) I'll find fore coins at the end of the basement. Let's go. (Mario soon heads out) Man it's been a tiring day. First off, going to that desert and getting sinked in the sand, and then getting ea- and then getting chased by my overdue library books. And then, my piano? And then an evil piano? Man, it is been one junked up day, isn't it Cam- Camera- IronYoshi?

Cameraman: Just call me Cameraman, Mario.

Mario: Cameraman. (does a backflip)

Cameraman: Yeah, I guess so. (Mario soon enters the main area of the basement again)

Mario: Let's go. (Mario begins singing the castle tune, then grabs on a ledge) NYAH! (Mario soon enters a room) Hm. Ah, just what I needed! A jacuzzi!

Toad: I better not go there if I were you, Mario.

Mario: Toad? (gasps) Your a ghost! (Mario comes closer to Toad) What'd ya mean?

Toad: Well, Bowser dumped liquid metal in there, and making it a pool... that you sink into a bottomless cave!

Mario: Ah yeah right! (Mario jumps in) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(The Star Menu is brought up, and Mario is in Hazy Maze Cave.)

Mario: (lands) Aw. I guess I should listen to Toad. (hits the Metal Box and gets the Metal Cap) But no one listens to that freak.. of nature. Not even the Princess. (Does a long-jump) Sweet I'm metal! Hey spider, hit me with your best shot! (The spider moves towards Mario, only for it to be defeated) Hah ha, you died. Die thrown paper deaths. (The metal power soon wears off, and Mario is near the boulders) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (Mario gets a row of coins, then heads to the room with the elevator) Hey, the Ghost House is a- also another place where I watch Flapjack. (Mario gets on the elevator, then clings to the edge of it) Screw this, I'm getting off. (falls) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! ((lands on his back) OW!!! OW! My back! I hit my back! (He then performs a long-jump, then starts sliding) Wheeeeeeeeeee! (jumps into the water) Aw. Aw, this is... healthy water. Hm. I see somethin'. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! It's a sea monster! It looks cute. (Mario swims close to it) Please don't eat me! Uh, it looks cute. Must be the Loch Ness Monster. Or Meshe. Mario soon climbs on it's back, then gets on it's head) Let me climb on your neck. Wheeee! It's really fun. Okay, um, what should I call you? I know! I'll call you "8-Armed Willy"! Now wait, you can't, your not an octopus. Just hope we can get to that door before the movie ends. (They head towards the door, slowly. Mario soon sniffs, and then he makes it to the area where the door is) Well thanks! I wonder what this door leads to.

(Scene change. Mario is falling from the waterfall near the castle)

Mario: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!! (video ends)