Drew Pickles and The City of Unswellness

Drew Pickles and The City of Unswellness is a Speakonia video and one of the first major specials uploaded to IronYoshi's current channel. It is also the 29th Drew Pickles/Barney Bunch video uploaded to the channel, and serves as a follow-up to Drew Pickles' Latest Creation (The Rise of Swellmix).

Plot Synopsis
Drew Pickles and Barney are exiled to the Pubic Family Swamp after Swellmix usurps them and conquers Drewland. Now they must find a way back and rescue Drew Pickles Jr. and stop Swellmix before he turns Drewland into an unswell wasteland.

Characters

 * Drew Pickles
 * Barney
 * Ronald McDonald
 * Dick the Cown
 * Quaker Queer
 * Drew Pickles Jr.
 * Swellmix
 * Pube Muppet
 * Pube Jason (cameo)
 * Pube Cookie Monster
 * Pube Elmo
 * Chaz Finster (cameo)
 * Elmo (cameo)
 * Arthur (cameo)
 * Fatty Bear (cameo)

Trivia

 * The special was quite infamous for how long it took to be made. The prior video that was made to set it up (Drew Pickles' Latest Creation: The Rise of Swellmix) was uploaded back in June, with The City of Unswellness not coming out until 3 months later in September.
 * This video was the first in IronYoshi's Barney Bunch canon to introduce the Pubic Family bar the Pube Muppet.

Transcript
(intro opens to show a picture of Barney)

Barney: Why hello to all you swell faggots, children, and butt pirates alike. It's me, Barney, your favorite purple triple testicled fat ass. Normally, my swell husband Drew Pickles would be introducing you all in these videos, but he really hasn't been in his right state of mind lately. I've never seen him have such a major mental breakdown lately since the time I showed him futa girls. You might be scratching your scrotums as to what the fuck I am talking about. Well calm down you little shits, as I give you some context to our current situation.

You see, Drew had the swell idea to create the ultimate swell lifeform using cum samples from me, himself, and our good butt buddy Ronald the God Damn Penis Clown McDonald. The end result was Swellmix, an abomination who's higher purpose was to make things sweller than they already are. Yet he did more unswellness than swell. Such things include raping Elmo to death with his 269 mile long cock and 7 testicles, shoving a hydrogen bomb up Chaz the Fister Finster's ass, and kidnapping our son Drew Pickles Jr. and threatening to rape him to death unless Drew and I relinquish command of the Barney Bunch to him and exile from Drewland. So we are currently in the swamp of the Pubic Family, and things are getting a bit testy lately with Drew and the Pubic Family.

(scene cuts to Drew arguing with the Pube Muppet)

Drew: What the fuck did you just say you stupid Pube Muppet?!

Pube Muppet: I told you to stay out of our swamp! Why can’t you just fuck off somewhere else and let us be?

Drew: Well its not like me and Barney can go back to Drewland or anything! If we do, Swellmix will kill our son!

Pube Muppet: Yeah, sure. I can tell your lying out your fucking ass!

Drew: I swear to my gay ass father I'm going to rip every single piece of pubic hair from your stupid little body!

Pube Muppet: I’ll have you know that something like that really turns me on! I would really like to feel that oh so glorious pain! O O O O O O O O O O O O O! Oh glorious pain! Oh glorious pain! Oh glorious pain!

Drew: Do you think I'm joking around?! Come here you little shit!

Barney: Drew, baby, let it go. He's not worth the trouble.

Pube Muppet: Yeah, that’s right. Hide behind that gelatinous blob you call a husband!

Drew: Why. You. Little. Shit. GET THE FUCK OVER HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU!

Pube Muppet: E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E !

(Drew lunges at the Pube Muppet)

Drew: I’m gonna kick the shit out of you, you retarded Pube Muppet!

Pube Muppet: E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E ! Please don’t hurt me!

Barney: Drew, please! Keep it together

Pube Cookie Monster: What the fuck is going on here?! (Pops out of the outhouse) I will not tolerate any kind of fighting in my swamp! Well, if it isn't Drew Pickles and his fatass husband Barney the Triple Testicle Dildosaur.

Drew: What the fuck? Is that a Pube Cookie Monster?

Pube Cookie Monster: I am not just any Pube Cookie Monster, I am thee Pube Cookie Monster, the head patriarch of the whole Pubic Family. Why don't the two of you come into our humble home?

Pube Muppet: Uh, Daddy? Do you not see that those 2 are the greatest enemies of the Pubic Family, and you want to invite them in?!

Drew: Yeah, as much as I’d hate to admit, Pube Muppet has a point.

Barney: Like we even have a choice? He’s offering us some hospitality, Drew.

Pube Cookie Monster: Please. Come hahaha come inside our home. It’s a lot better than being out here, especially since the mosquitoes are active lately. Did you know that it’s the females that drink blood?

Drew: Alright, fine. Come on, Barney, let’s go inside.

(The scene changes back to Drewland. A picture of a ruined city is shown. Swellmix is on the balcony of the Barney Bunch Sex Mansion.)

Swellmix: Attention residents of both the Barney Bunch and Drewland. This is your leader Swellmix, here to announce the end of the masturbation cycle and the start of the dildo shoving cycle, so get your dildus out and start ramming them up your asses. Failure to comply will result in an ass pounding to the death. Also bingo night is tonight, so be sure to show up. That is all for now.

(Cut to Ronald McDonald, Dick the Clown, and the Quaker Queer)

Ronald: Damn, I can't believe this is the current state of Drewland and the Barney Bunch. Swellmix has gone off the deep end this time. I really miss Drew and Barney.

Dick: I miss them too, bro. All these crazy rules Swellmix has in place is just unswell. My penis is completely sore from all that masturbating. Drew and Barney would never authorize this. We had so much more fun and freedom when they were around.

Quaker Queer: I must agree with you Dick the Clown. Swellmix’s reign over Drewland is a tyrannical one. His vision of swellness is nothing more than sex and violence, with a heavy emphasis on the latter.

Ronald: Oh shit, Swellmix is coming! Act natural!

Swellmix: Hello Penis Clown, Dick, and Quaker Queer. What are you talking about?

Ronald: Oh, um, hi Swellmix. We’re just talking about what a good job you’re doing in keeping Drewland swell!

Dick: Um, yeah, that’s exactly what we were doing!

Quaker Queer: And now we were getting our dildus ready for the dildo shoving.

Swellmix: Funny. Because I swear I thought you were talking shit about me. And you know exactly what happens when you speak ill of me, don’t you?

Ronald: Oh, um, yes. A slow and brutal ass pounding to the death. But we would never talk ill about you, right guys?

Dick: Oh yeah, certainly!

Quaker Queer: We would never do such a thing, honest!

Swellmix: Okay then. Carry on with your dildo shoving then.

(Swellmix leaves. The next scene has him in the sex mansion, where Drew Pickles Jr. is in a cage.)

Drew Jr: O O O O O O O O O O O O O! You are in so much trouble mister! When my daddies get a hold of you-

Swellmix: If your daddies even lay a single foot in Drewland, I will kill you, and then kill you next. Drewland will be swell, and those 2 faggots will not have a part in it. The Era of Swellmix will last forever!

(Scene change back to the Pubic Family Swamp, where Drew and Barney are in the Family’s cabin.)

Barney: Thanks for letting us stay here Pube Cookie Monster.

Pube Cookie Monster: You are more than welcome you sexy bitch. Now would a plump and rotund dinosaur like yourself want to try my famous Pube Cookies? I would like to feed them to you, since I have a massive feeder fetish.

Barney: Um, I think I’m good for now.

Drew: Not to be a killjoy or anything, but what I don’t get is why you are letting me and Barney stay here.

Pube Muppet: Yeah, Daddy. Why are we letting these faggots stay here? We should send them to a different swamp!

Pube Cookie Monster: I sense them being distressed. Normally we would take this opportunity to gain the upper hand in the feud between the Barney Bunch and the Pubic Family, but it seems that something has truly been troubling you, Drew. So might I ask, what brings you and your fatass husband to our swell swamp?

Pube Muppet: Yeah, please do tell us! So that way we can kick you out!

(Pube Cookie Monster smacks Pube Muppet.)

Pube Muppet: Ow, daddy! Why did you hit me?

Pube Cookie Monster: Shut the fuck up Pube Muppet! Show some respect for our guests! Sorry about that minor interruption. You know how my son can be sometimes. Now then, would you care to tell us what brought you here?

Drew: Well you see, Barney and I created a being known as Swellmix, and his goal was to make everything swell. However, he went rouge and started causing more harm than swell. It escalated when he took our son Drew Pickles Jr. and threated to kill him if we don’t exile ourselves. So that’s why we ended up here, because I don’t want to go to Bettysburg, where the Betty Bunch reside.

Pube Cookie Monster: My condolences to your situation. I would not want anything bad to happen to my sons, except for Pube Muppet, because he’s a worthless faggot.

Pube Muppet: Uh, Daddy? I am right here you know.

Drew: Fa ha ha! Even your own father hates you! What irony!

Pube Muppet: Shut the fuck up Drew! Don’t be such a cunt!

(Pube Cookie Monster smacks Pube Muppet again.)

Pube Cookie Monster: Maybe you should stop acting like a cunt yourself!

Pube Muppet: Ow, Daddy! Please stop hitting me!

Drew: Somebody is testy today. But even if we wanted to leave here, we can’t go back to Drewland, otherwise Drew Jr. will die.

Pube Cookie Monster: Well even if you stay here, I doubt you will be safe. If Swellmix could easily topple the Barney Bunch, then we have much to fear.

Drew: Wait, did you just imply that the Barney Bunch was weak? I outta kick your ass for that!

Pube Cookie Monster: Before you start throwing a tantrum like some autistic manchild, allow me to explain. If Swellmix is as ruthless as he seems, then there is a good chance he will further expand his dong and his empire, and anyone who is opposed to him will be seen as a threat. If that is the case, then the Pubic Family is as good as fucked, and not in the sexually satisfying way. Drew, I understand that the Barney Bunch and the Pubic Family have had their differences, but this is bigger than anything we have faced before, even the Humongous Bunch. But even then, the Humongous Bunch was all talk and no show, and Swellmix presents an ever-present danger to all who inhabit Drewland and everything that is swell.

Drew: I can’t believe I am agreeing with a member of the Pubic Family, but its true. But how can we face him. If Barney and I go back to Drewland, Swellmix will kill Drew Jr.

Pube Cookie Monster: That is where I have something that may help.

(They go outside to see pube bushes.)

Pube Cookie Monster: You can take cover in these swell pube bushes that I have been growing. Swellmix will probably mistake them for tumbleweeds or something, so you’ll be able to sneak into Drewland without being detected.

Drew: In that thing?

Barney: Do we really have a choice?

Drew: Well, I suppose its better than nothing. Thanks Pube Cookie Monster.

Pube Cookie Monster: You are more than welcome, Drew. And best of luck in restoring the swellness.

(Drew and Barney get in the bush and head for Drewland, leaving the scene.)

Pube Muppet: Well, better them than me. Besides, once they finish, I can complete my goal of bringing our family sexual satisfaction! All because I am the favorite son!

Pube Cookie Monster: Actually Pube Muppet, you are no longer the favorite son. Pube Elmo is now the favorite son.

Pube Muppet: Wait, what the fuck?!

Pube Elmo: (Pops up) Ha ha ha! I’m the favorite son now! Suck my ass Pubey!

Pube Muppet: No. I’m gonna kick your ass instead! (Heads towards Pube Elmo) Get over here you little bitch!

Pube Elmo: Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie! Help me Daddy! Pube Muppet is being mean to me!

Pube Cookie Monster: Pube Muppet! Stop picking on your brother this instant!

Pube Muppet: But he started it!

Pube Cookie Monster: Fuck you Pube Muppet, you are grounded. No pleasuring yourself to dirty magazines until Drew and Barney finally defeat Swellmix.

Pube Muppet: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

(Cut to Drew and Barney on a road heading to Drewland in the bush.)

Drew: This is going pretty swell, isn’t it Barney?

Barney: I don’t know Drew. These pubes are really really itchy and they smell weird.

Drew: Well just put up with it until we finally reach Drewland.

Barney: Oh god, they’re getting into my nose. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I can’t take it. Ah, ah, ah, CHOO!

(Barney sneezes and the bush flies away.)

Barney: Phew, I feel much better now.

Drew: (Turns to Barney, looking annoyed) Oh my fucking god Barney! Now how are we supposed to sneak into Drewland now?!

Barney: Hey, it got us this far! And look, here’s the entrance to Drewland.

Drew: Well then, we’ll have to be super stealthy then if we want to avoid being caught.

(Cut to Swellmix observing them from a distance.)

Swellmix: I knew they couldn’t be kept out for long! Now I must do something about it. And I know exactly what to do. Hahahahaha!

(Drew and Barney enter Drewland, and are shocked at its current state.)

Drew: I can’t believe this is what happened to Drewland. I t s completely unswell!

Barney: I know. Swellmix really fucked this place up. And what is this? A curfew? Specific events that you are forced to do instead of doing what you want? This isn’t the Drewland I remember so fondly and cream all over.

Drew: Keep virulent, Barney. We have to find Swellmix.

(Drew and Barney suddenly see Ronald.)

Drew: Holy shit! It’s Ronald the God Damn Penis Clown McDonald!

Ronald: Drew? Barney? Oh my fucking god, I can’t believe it! You’re back! Wait, you have to get out of here before Swellmix finds you!

Barney: We’re not going anywhere without a fight! Or an orgy? How is Drew Jr.?

Ronald: He’s fine from what I’ve heard. He’s apparently back at your sex mansion, which Swellmix turned into his own private fortress.

Drew: That bitch! He’s gonna pay for that! He better not have used my priceless collection of dildos as dildos! Only I can do that! Let’s go Barney. We have to head back to our sex mansion.

Ronald: Good luck Drew! I’d join you guys but I don’t want Swellmix to rape me to death.

(Drew and Barney head to their sex mansion.)

Drew: Swell to see that our sex mansion hasn’t been ruined too much, save for all the cum stains.

Barney: But Drew, those have been there for a while now.

Drew: Oh, really? Why didn’t I notice them until now? Maybe I need to clean my glasses with your cum.

(They soon see Drew Jr. at the balcony.)

Barney: Oh my fucking god! It’s Drew Pickles Jr!

Drew Jr: Oh, hello daddies! You’re back! But don’t come hahahaha come any closer! It’s a trap!

Drew: Wait, what do you mean?

Barney: I don’t care! I want to see my son! Come hahahaha come here Drew Jr!

(Suddenly Swellmix appears.)

Swellmix: Not so fast faggots!

Drew: Oh shit! Its Swellmix!

Barney: God dammit! I should have known it was too easy.

Swellmix: I told you two that you are not to return to Drewland, or else you will pay the ultimate price. Now I will take your son and fuck him to death, and then come hahahaha come for you next.

Drew: You won’t get away with this Swellmix! I created you, and I can easily destroy you!

Swellmix: I cannot be destroyed! I am swellness incarnate, I am all that swell and homosexual, I am Swellmix! Now Drew Pickles Jr. and I will be taking our leave. Farewell faggots!

(Swellmix grabs Drew Jr. and leaps from the balcony.)

Drew Jr: Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Help me daddies!

Drew: Oh shit! Swellmix got away!

Barney: No. I refuse to let that monster even lay another finger on our little boy! Drew, we have to go after him now! Um, Drew, are you even listening?

(Suddenly Drew starts staring hornily at Barney’s ass, zooming in on both of them.  Then Drew tackles Barney and starts fucking him in the ass.)

Drew: Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha shut the fuck up Barney hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha your ass is so o o o o o big and fat hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I haven't fucked anything today, and your ass is something I want to insert my massive cock into hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Swellmix can watch this hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha shoving your tail up my ass as a dildo hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha-

Barney: (While Drew is raping him) Drew! Drew! What the fuck are you doing?! Get off of me and stop fucking me right now! Seriously you fucking asshole! Our son is about to be raped to death and all you can think about is plowing my ass? I outta smack you with my 3 testicles and call in my 4th one Grimace to join in the smacking!

(This continues until they crash into Swellmix.)

Drew: Holy shit! What were the odds of crashing into Swellmix?

Swellmix: That will be the last mistake you will ever make!

Drew: (Panicking) Oh god, oh fuck. Barney, distract him while I think of a plan! (He leaves the scene)

Barney: You asshole! Why do you have to leave me with your shit? Oh well, get behind me Jr.

Drew Jr: Okay Daddy. What are you gonna do to the big scary penis man?

Barney: Let’s see. Um, hey Swellmix! You are the most unswell faggot ever!

Swellmix: How dare you insult me like that! Now I am gonna fuck your ass to death with my mastadonic 269 mile long cock and 7 testicles! Prepare your anus you fat fuck!

Barney: Oh god, oh fuck, oh shit. This is not how I wanted to go out. So many asses to fuck, so many things to use as dildos, and so many swell positions I haven’t learned. Oh no. Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

(Suddenly Drew leaps onto Swellmix and starts fucking him in the ass.)

Drew: Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha prepare to meet your maker hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh wait, you did a while back hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha why didn't I think of doing this before hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha this would have saved so much fucking time hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha IronYoshi got sidetracked with other projects that he kind of abandoned this one hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha this is the Duke Nukem Forever of Speakonia videos hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha and now the 4th wall has been Thanosed hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ramming the pieces of the 4th wall up your ass hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha licking your 7 testicles like lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol now back to ponding your ass hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha suck on 300 miles of cock blurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblrurblurblurblurblurblurblur prepare for the true ultimate form of swellness as I fill your ass with my love sauce soisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoi bag, that was swell.

Swellmix: Oh. My point Fucking. God. Error. Error. Error. Fuck fuck fuck piss piss piss dildo dildo dildo dildo 69 69 69 69 69 69 testicles testicles testicles Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

(Swellmix then explodes in a fiery display.)

Barney: Holy shit Drew! You defeated Swellmix! And saved Drewland, the Barney Bunch, and everything swell.

Drew Jr: Hooray hooray hooray! My daddies saved the day! But is the scary penis man really dead?

Drew: Well there’s one way to find out.

(Swellmix suddenly gains consciousness.)

Swellmix: Oh, what happened? Why did I feel so off?

Drew: Wait, you don’t remember anything?

Swellmix: Sadly I do not. Should I?

Barney: Maybe its best that you don’t.

Drew Jr: Hold the fucking dildo! So he turned evil and now he’s a good guy? Who the fuck writes this shit?

Drew: Oh my god! Our son broke the 4th wall! That is quite a momentous thing.

(Scene change to the Barney Bunch at their sex mansion welcoming the reformed Swellmix.)

Swellmix: But I don’t remember doing any of that. If I really did as you say, then I am very sorry. I did not mean any harm.

Drew: It’s okay Swellmix. What I would like to know is what suddenly caused you to turn on us. Either way, we properly welcome you into the Barney Bunch! Now let’s all have a massive orgy!

(And then they all fucked offscreen. Scene change to the famous image of Drew.)

Drew: Well that was quite the gay adventure. I know this should have been out sooner than later, but IronYoshi got caught up with other video projects that he kind of glossed over this one. Either way, I hope it was worth the wait. It took a bit or refining on the script, which was 8 pages long, but hopefully this turned out swell. And with that, we finally wrap things up. Until the boner reaches the sky, I am your poop shoot pillager Drew Pickles, saying if you intend to create the ultimate swell lifeform, be sure you are able to control it, otherwise it might turn on you and threaten to exile you to the Pubuc Family swamp. See you later my sexually stimulating studs!

(Credits. After we see a shot of Fatty Bear in the distance.)

Fatty Bear: So, Drew managed to regain control of Swellmix again? Guess my sabotage of his creation wasn’t enough, but I was close. Drew and the Barney Bunch will pay for that they did to me and my group. The Humongous Bunch will not be in vain. I will just have to come hahahaha come up with a better revenge scheme. Besides, you can’t keep a gay bear down. Hahahahahahahahahahaha! This won’t be the last you’ll see or hear from me Drew Pickles! I assure of you!

(Video ends.)